Free Write

The doctor put a hand on her arm and said gently, "You or the baby will survive. Not both. I'm sorry."

He reduced me to tears twice that year
Once because I bore a child
Twice because we wouldn't meet
I wept for Emma, or Charles, still to be determined
His apology rung hollow
A raindrop to my flames
The fate of two lives rested in my hands
Was it my fear of the unknown
Was it to spare her the pain of cruel existence
Or was it my human need for self preservation
That led to her untimely demise
It was my traits alone that faulted her
Emma wasn't petty
Never burned a bridge
Or harmed another
And still I,
I of greed and envy
I of fear and sorrow
I of hatred of what I fail to understand
Evaded the call of death
While my angel perished
I would've cared for her
We would waste day after day together
I would serenade her under the peach tree
Where her father rests
Now the two crosses lay in its shade
My fingers trace the freshly disturbed dirt
Emma,
The most beautiful girl
Who never lived
As I fastened the knot
And readied the cross
A smile pushed through my lips
They were waiting for me
Our perfect family would be complete
And I mustn't keep them waiting